3 years ago I emerged from the bubble of university, 23, newly single, and I was plunged in to the modern dating world. As I’m sure most of you are aware, it was a whole new ball game (no pun intended).
I was having lunch with a friend explaining my apprehension about getting back out there when she told me about this “great new app” that everyone is using to find dates and even boyfriends, you guessed it…Tinder! I rushed home and downloaded it to my phone and I suppose that is where it all began.
The addictive swiping and the thrill of new matches makes choosing a potential date feel so easy and effortless. There is no risk of rejection, well…apart from apps like Coffee Meets Bagel who like to point out you had NO right swipes this week, thanks for the confidence boost dating gurus! It works for some people, every week I hear of a friend of a friend of Uncle Bob’s son’s friend that has just met “the one” on Tinder and so the hope continues….he’s on there somewhere!
Sadly, the novelty soon wears off. The biggest issue with dating apps is that everyone is looking for something different. Most 20-something men are on the prowl for an easy lay or my pet hate “casual fun” aka having their cake and eating it. Meanwhile, there are the crazies looking to marry their 1st match or ask you to partake in some obscene fetish (no, I don’t want to dress up as Darth Vader for you!). Where are all the middle ground men hiding?! I’m perfectly happy with this stage of my life, it’d just be nice to share it with a nice, normal man…too much to ask? So far it seems so.
I’ve tried them all (well, the free ones, I haven’t quite got to the stage of paying to go on lousy dates just yet!): Tinder, Happn, POF, Coffee Meets Bagel, Double (my housemate got dragged in to that one, one drunken evening), The Inner Circle and most recently Bumble. If you’re new to this, I will save you time, they are all the same! I feel like I have completed all the levels of a not-so-fun Playstation game and now I’m just replaying while I wait for the next level to be released.
We have reached a time where meeting a boyfriend naturally in day to day life is very rare. Why would a man speak to a girl he finds attractive in public when there are hundreds at a touch of a button, it’s far less intimidating. Stalking strangers while sat in bed eating ice cream is also far more appealing than actual human interaction. I think we are all guilty of wanting to hide behind technology, skip ahead a few years and I’m sure we’ll all be dating robots…undoubtedly with more success!
We have all turned slightly appaholic, I myself have discarded potential relationships for the silliest reasons: he sounds like Kermit, he has girly hands, his eyebrows look like slugs. The thousands of options out there lead to an addictive search for the elusive perfect partner and I honestly believe this prevents so many relationships from starting, we are living in such an impatient era and don’t give things a chance to grow (I say whilst sitting here swiping!).
My two housemates and I are all single and we sit in our flat night after night analysing this conundrum, trying to think of ways around the viscous cycle of exhausting app dating, however the conclusion is always the same…this is just the way it is now and we are going to have to find a way to make it work for us or get lucky!
Right, my rant is over, the reason I started with this post is that it sets the scene, the past 3 years have been filled with many first dates and some brilliant stories that I can’t wait to share with you…watch this space.